Dear Oliver

My the time has flown bye, you are just about 8 months old now and what a joy you are in our home. You are sitting up well, feeding your self you bottle and finger foods. You are anxious to walk and want us to hold your hands and walk with you all day, I am trying to get you to crawls first though. You are very determinde. Last night you finally said Mama and  it made me so happy! I have been trying to get you to say it for a couple of months and now its all that comes out of your mouth. You love you sister so much! You watch her non stop and laugh at all of her silliness. I know you are itching to be big like she is but I love having you little and want to keep you as my baby. You have such a sweet, calm, happy spirit about you.
 I had an experience I wanted to share with you, I got pregnant in aug 2008, from the moment I found out I was ecstatic. the due date was May 21st, 2009. I had planned that pregnancy and hoped so much for it. I felt right away I was having a boy, well twelve weeks after I got pregnant I went to the dr to hear the heartbeat for the first time and to my sadness there was no heart beat. I was so confused and hurt. I had to have a minor surgery to get the baby out that had died. I felt I had lost a huge part of me and a baby that I was so anxiously desiring. For the next 8 or so months I was living with a heart break, I was fine to function with my daily life but I was sad and felt like I was missing/had lost something. In Aug 2009 I got pregnant again when I found out I felt deeply in my heart that this was that same baby and I knew it was a boy. The due date was May 21st 2010, The same due date as the baby before just a yr later.I joked and said you tried to come a year to early so Heavnely Father had to tell you to get back to heaven because it wasnt your time yet. In dec it I went and had an ultrasound and I was confirmed in my feelings that I was having a boy. I felt strongly right away that you were to be named Oliver. I felt like I knew you already, I knew your personality, Its hard to explain but I just felt like I knew who you were and that we were being reunited in a sense. My feelings were only confirmed even more when I deliverd you and met you face to face for the first time. I was overcome with joy and happiness as I finally had my sweet boy in my arms. I had longed for you for all those months. Now that we are getting to know you even more I feel strongly all the time that you are a special spirit that I have known and I know you have special and important things to do here on earth. I will do my best to love you and raise you in a way that you can accomplish all you came here to do. I love you baby boy!
 Love,
    Mom

Dear Cecily

My darling, sweet, energetic Cecily! You are almost 3 and 1/2 and what a fire ball you are. I find so much joy with you each day.I love when you randomly come up to me and give me a hug and a kiss and tell me you love me! It really helps me feel like my work of trying to be a good mom pays off.  You are such a kind loving sister to Oliver, you are always so willing and eager to help him and help me around the house. You are very spirited and stubborn so you often want your way (we all do I suppose). I find it amazing that at such a young age you began to know what you want and do what you could to get it. You are very sensitve just like you mama. You can be such an outgoing, loud girl but then you can be so shy and timid in the same situation. I still have yet to figure out what makes each side of you come out in this area. You still have a very hard time when I leave you anywhere, even if it is a room full of people you know well you will still cry and question if I will come back when I leave. I dont know how to reassure you that I will always come back. It breaks my heart and makes it hard for me to leave you but I know we both need some time away from one another so there can be some independence. On the same note you love preschool but every day Oli and I take you there you are so concerned about what we are going to do with out you while you are at school, you often suggest we just go home until we come get you, and then we can run our errands. You have always since you were a tiny baby worried about missing out on things.
  You love to dance and sing and play pretend. you have a great imgination and I love watching you use it everyday. You are very smart and can keep up with us adults, there really is no tricking you, you catch and mimick everything we do so we have to be extra carfeful about the things we say/do. You still love your little baby (bear) that you have had since you were born, she is always at your side when we are home. I love you sweet girl and I love all of our time together. I will miss these days someday and I want you to know you mean the world to me!
 Love Mom

Oliver 6.25.2010

Oli,

You are six weeks old today and I can hardly believe how quickly the time has passed. I just love having your sweet spirit in our home. Im starting to guess what your personality will be like, Im thinking you will be on the calmer side and probably stubborn just like the rest of us Wagner/Reids! It is so precious when you get sad and Im comforting you, you keep whimpering for a little bit so I would call you a little dramatic, but its not surprising knowing myself and your big sister! Speaking of your sister she just loves you so much, she is always so interested in what you are doing, she wants to help feed, change, bathe you and give you your binky which usually ends with her shoving it in your mouth and you end up getting sad. She is so sweet to want to be my helper and she is so sweet with you, so many times in the day I will catch her next to you talking to you and giving you kisses on your head. Dad is so great with you too, I am so lucky to have him, he gets up with you at night to feed you so that I can sleep, he knows I dont function well with little sleep. He always comes home from work and immediately takes you in his arms and plays with CC in her room. He works so hard for our family and is so fun! We just love spending time all together.

Things can get crazy, when CC is throwing a tantrum, you are crying and fighting sleep and the house is a mess I can get so frustrated and flustered. I always dreamed of being a Mom, its harder than I thought it would be but so rewarding and so great at the same time. I just love staying home with you kids (most days! ) we have so much fun playing outside at the park, swimming, playing inside and going on outings.

We have adjusted pretty well to two kids, there have been easy times and lots of crazy times! Its been a bit of a blur.

Birth Story:

I realized I havent written your birth story, There is much excitement considering it was a planned C-section. I was so nervous for a couple of weeks before, I was worried mostly about the epidural because when I got it with Cecily it was very painful/traumatic. Gram Came two days before the big day so that she could be here to help watch Cecily and to help us adjust to having you home with us.

Friday May 14, 2010 we woke up around 7:30 am I got in the shower and got ready, I wasnt allowed to eat starting the night before so I skipped breakfast, Dad and I left for the hospital at 9:00 am I was worried CC would be sad when we left because she has a hard time with separating from me, plus I wouldn't be sleeping at home for a few nights but she did really great. We got to the hospital about 20 min later, Checked in and they immediatley started getting me ready for the surgery. I got my IV and they monitored my heart due to my palpitations and my heart murmur. The anesthesiologist came in and talked to me about the spinal, I expressed my concerns and felt confident in him. A little while later a student learning how to do spinals came in and got us to go down to the OR, I was really nervous he was going to do my spinal and wouldnt know how to do it, Luckily he was just helping. The nurses were great and let me squeeze their hands while they did my spinal, it was not painful at all and I was numb really quick, Dad then came in and sat next to my head.

You were out within 20 min, it was such a great noise hearing your little cry, My eyes filled with tears of Joy and I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with immense love for you and I hadnt even seen you yet. The nurses took care of you, Dad cut your cord, they wrapped you up and brought you over to me. Oh you were so beautiful and perfect! You were so Tiny too. I was in love at first sight. They took you (and Dad) to weigh and measure you, while I got stitched up. I met you and Dad in recovery. I just loved being able to hold you and have that special time with you and Dad my Two BOYS!!

The hospital stay was fine, I was anxious to get home where I wasnt being woken up every hour, between the nurses bring you in to eat (which I wanted) and the nurses checking me and giving me meds (I just wanted to sleep ) We worked on nursing you in the hospital and for a couple of weeks after we got home but I never produced enough milk so We used formula instead.

I just feel so blessed to be Cecily and your Mama, you are such blessings and such sweet kids. I never imagined the love I feel for both you !