Dear Oliver

My the time has flown bye, you are just about 8 months old now and what a joy you are in our home. You are sitting up well, feeding your self you bottle and finger foods. You are anxious to walk and want us to hold your hands and walk with you all day, I am trying to get you to crawls first though. You are very determinde. Last night you finally said Mama and  it made me so happy! I have been trying to get you to say it for a couple of months and now its all that comes out of your mouth. You love you sister so much! You watch her non stop and laugh at all of her silliness. I know you are itching to be big like she is but I love having you little and want to keep you as my baby. You have such a sweet, calm, happy spirit about you.
 I had an experience I wanted to share with you, I got pregnant in aug 2008, from the moment I found out I was ecstatic. the due date was May 21st, 2009. I had planned that pregnancy and hoped so much for it. I felt right away I was having a boy, well twelve weeks after I got pregnant I went to the dr to hear the heartbeat for the first time and to my sadness there was no heart beat. I was so confused and hurt. I had to have a minor surgery to get the baby out that had died. I felt I had lost a huge part of me and a baby that I was so anxiously desiring. For the next 8 or so months I was living with a heart break, I was fine to function with my daily life but I was sad and felt like I was missing/had lost something. In Aug 2009 I got pregnant again when I found out I felt deeply in my heart that this was that same baby and I knew it was a boy. The due date was May 21st 2010, The same due date as the baby before just a yr later.I joked and said you tried to come a year to early so Heavnely Father had to tell you to get back to heaven because it wasnt your time yet. In dec it I went and had an ultrasound and I was confirmed in my feelings that I was having a boy. I felt strongly right away that you were to be named Oliver. I felt like I knew you already, I knew your personality, Its hard to explain but I just felt like I knew who you were and that we were being reunited in a sense. My feelings were only confirmed even more when I deliverd you and met you face to face for the first time. I was overcome with joy and happiness as I finally had my sweet boy in my arms. I had longed for you for all those months. Now that we are getting to know you even more I feel strongly all the time that you are a special spirit that I have known and I know you have special and important things to do here on earth. I will do my best to love you and raise you in a way that you can accomplish all you came here to do. I love you baby boy!
 Love,
    Mom

Dear Cecily

My darling, sweet, energetic Cecily! You are almost 3 and 1/2 and what a fire ball you are. I find so much joy with you each day.I love when you randomly come up to me and give me a hug and a kiss and tell me you love me! It really helps me feel like my work of trying to be a good mom pays off.  You are such a kind loving sister to Oliver, you are always so willing and eager to help him and help me around the house. You are very spirited and stubborn so you often want your way (we all do I suppose). I find it amazing that at such a young age you began to know what you want and do what you could to get it. You are very sensitve just like you mama. You can be such an outgoing, loud girl but then you can be so shy and timid in the same situation. I still have yet to figure out what makes each side of you come out in this area. You still have a very hard time when I leave you anywhere, even if it is a room full of people you know well you will still cry and question if I will come back when I leave. I dont know how to reassure you that I will always come back. It breaks my heart and makes it hard for me to leave you but I know we both need some time away from one another so there can be some independence. On the same note you love preschool but every day Oli and I take you there you are so concerned about what we are going to do with out you while you are at school, you often suggest we just go home until we come get you, and then we can run our errands. You have always since you were a tiny baby worried about missing out on things.
  You love to dance and sing and play pretend. you have a great imgination and I love watching you use it everyday. You are very smart and can keep up with us adults, there really is no tricking you, you catch and mimick everything we do so we have to be extra carfeful about the things we say/do. You still love your little baby (bear) that you have had since you were born, she is always at your side when we are home. I love you sweet girl and I love all of our time together. I will miss these days someday and I want you to know you mean the world to me!
 Love Mom